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And So There Must Come an End – Living Life with Love Laughter & Stage4 Bowel Cancer

By on September 19, 2014
Fly to the Stars

It has been said that every death we know about has something to teach us.  I personally find that to be true and look to find the gifts that people are giving me with their deaths. I find I am always so greatful for the wisdom and learning I recieve as I may not have gained it any other way.
…Embrace your loved one and if they cannot embrace you back, find someone who will. Everyone deserves to love and be loved in return. Don’t settle for less. Find a job you enjoy, but don’t become a slave to it. You will not have ‘I wish I’d worked more’ on your headstone. Dance, laugh and eat with your friends. True, honest, strong friendships are an utter blessing and a choice we get to make, rather than have to share a loyalty with because there happens to be link through blood. Choose wisely then treasure them with all the love you can muster. Surround yourself with beautiful things. Life has a lot of grey and sadness – look for that rainbow and frame it. There is beauty in everything, sometimes you just have to look a little harder to see it.”
I send oceans of love across the ether to her husband and children, and others in her family. I want to make sure that you all know that 6 weeks after someone has died is the most difficult time for the family. By that time everyone has returned to their normal routine and are no longer checking in on those who have lost their loved ones. The chemicals that have coursed through their bodies enabling them to get through the first days of their loss have dropped off and it can be a really hard time. So please make sure to reach out – a phone call – a meal – flowers – an offer to do some day to day requirement that will ease the burden – send a card. What you do is not what is important the fact that you do it is what counts – Bless you.
…As you read this, I will no longer be here. Rich will be trying to put one foot in front of the other, to get by, a day at a time, knowing I will no longer awake next to him. He will see me in the luxury of a dream, but in the harsh morning sun, the bed will be empty. He will get two cups from the cupboard, but realise there is only one coffee to make. Lucy will need someone to reach for her hairband box, but there won’t be anyone to plait her hair. Danny will have lost one of his Lego policeman, but no one will know exactly which one it is or where to look. You will look for the latest update on the blog. There won’t be one, this is the final chapter…
Let’ look to the stars tonight as she asks us to do and make a toast to a beautifully wise woman  “…when you close your curtains tonight, look out for a star, it will be me, looking down, sipping a pina colada, enjoying a box of (very expensive) chocolates.”

About Trypheyna McShane

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